Conflicts are to be expected in marriage. But why do they happen in even the most mature marriages?
At a recent monthly gathering with the Pastors College students and their wives, C.J. abbreviated his sermon on James 4:1–3 and shared a recent example of how the passage protected his marriage from conflict during a date night.
Listen to C.J.’s 7-minute message here:
Cravings, Conflict, and Marriage
C.J. Mahaney
Dec. 4, 2009
7 minutes
Download here (7.9 MB)
Welcome back to the conclusion of my interview with Carl Trueman, Professor of Historical Theology and Church History at Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia. Read part one of the interview
here.
Carl, what single piece of counsel (or constructive criticism) has most improved your preaching?
From my wife, my most faithful supporter and most astute critic: be aware that when you preach, there are children in the congregation and I must neither make them stumble nor preach over their heads. I think particularly of a time when I preached on 1 Corinthians 1 and referred to the church in Corinth as probably containing the first century equivalent of “pole dancers.” My wife rebuked me afterwards for using a term which could have provoked embarrassing conversations for parents over a Lord’s Day family lunch. Point taken. Never done it again. Other times I have used pretentiously technical vocabulary which kids (and some congregants) would not understand. At such times, I did not preach Christ, I preached Trueman and how clever he is. I now try never to do this, and confess it when I think I may have slipped. As a professor, this is always a temptation, so now I assist my wife in teaching the 4 year olds in Sunday School. That has helped me—and humbled me—more than anything with regard to how I communicate in the pulpit.
What books on preaching, or examples of it, have you found most influential in your own preaching?
Examples: the godly pastors I have been blessed to sit under. Iver Martin (now in Stornoway Free Church of Scotland) and John Currie (who now works at Westminster but who was my pastor in Philadelphia for 6 years).
Books: Peter Taylor Forsyth,
Positive Preaching and the Modern Mind. Simply the best book on the theological practice of preaching ever written.
What single bit of counsel has made the most significant difference in your effective use of time?
Two things. One is not a piece of counsel but a perk of my job as Academic Dean. I have a delightful lady who works as my assistant and looks after my schedule for me. That has helped. I am an organizational numbskull, as she, and her longsuffering predecessor, will confirm.
The second was the insight that, if you wait for an extended period of time to get a project done, it never comes along. Make constant use of the fragments of time you get on a regular basis. Use that fifteen minutes before a meeting to read or to write a paragraph. Use your time driving to work to think through the passage you are going to preach on at the weekend. Use the little bits of time and you find they really add up to something more substantial. To quote Bruce Springsteen: “You spend your life waiting for a moment that just don’t come; don’t waste your time waiting.”
What single bit of counsel has made the most significant difference in your leadership?
Again, I have to plead to be allowed to break the rule and list four things.
(a) Pick your battles. Not every hill is worth dying on; and not every battle is something you are competent to fight. As a younger man, I wanted to fight all comers and win every battle. Neither necessary nor possible.
(b) Be part of a team who care for you and whom you trust to tell you when you are going the wrong way or crossing a line that should not be crossed—and listen to them. Yes-men are fatal to good leadership. A trustworthy colleague who is prepared to oppose you to your face is worth his weight in gold.
(c) Understand that leadership is lonely; being liked by everyone is a luxury you probably cannot afford. Deal with it and get on with the job. If you want to be liked, be a circus clown; if you want to lead and lead well, be prepared for the loneliness that comes with it. This is why, for me, a happy home has been crucial for it has been a place where work is, as far as possible, kept far away. Home is the one place I can go each night and know that I am loved, and I guard it fiercely. I have even banned my kids from Googling my name—if there is nasty stuff out there about me, I deal with it at work; I do not allow it into my house.
(d) Don’t waste time defending your own name for the sake of it. If Christ’s honour is at stake, or the innocent are made vulnerable by some attack on your character, you need to respond; otherwise, let it be. If I responded to every wannabe crank who thinks I’m arrogant, hypocritical, lying etc. etc., I’d never have the time to do anything else. The secret is not caring about your own name except as it impacts upon others.
Where in ministry are you most regularly tempted to discouragement?
Have I failed as a husband and a dad? Have I preached the whole counsel of God? Why do I still struggle with the same sins with which I fought on the day I first believed? Do I really care enough for the people in my church? Is my teaching leading people to Christ or away from him? Am I driven solely by a desire to raise my own profile? These kind of questions periodically strike me down.
Do you exercise? If so, what do you do? If not, why not? (Please be specific.)
Fanatically. I spin, cycle, and especially I run distances. I’m a consistent sub-4 hour marathoner (but only on Saturday races—I am a Presbyterian, after all!), and hope this year to run a 50k ultramarathon with a friend who is a Presbyterian pastor in Colorado.
Currently, what sport do you like to play and/or watch?
I run. I love to watch rugby. Every summer, I spend three weeks watching the Tour de France on television (even had to switch my cable provider this year when the Tour switched channels!). Above all, I like to watch my sons compete in their sports, particularly middle distance running.
What do you do for leisure?
I run. I read, especially history and pulp detective fiction. I enjoy a good glass of brandy with close friends and conversation. I like to spend time with my wife and boys as I can.
If you were not in ministry, what occupational path would you have chosen?
Tough one: I like to write, so journalism would have been a desirable path; but I also like to argue, so maybe a trial lawyer. If I had enough money to just do whatever I wanted, I think I would want to work as part of a Tour de France team, a park ranger in the mountains somewhere far away, or the owner of a traditional English public house, with open fire, horse brasses, fine ale, and a dart board. I could just stand behind the bar, pulling pints, and complaining, in good English fashion, about the weather, the cricket, and the fact that nothing tastes quite as good as it did when I was young.
Carl, reading your final answer and these alternatives makes me freshly grateful for the call of God on your life, that you are called to serve the academy, the church, and the next generation with the gospel.
January 22, 2010 by C.J. Mahaney
Categories: Interviews | Reading
If you haven’t met Carl Trueman you are in for a ride that will take us, well, nobody knows. All we can be certain of is that Bruce Springsteen will likely appear at some point.
Dr. Trueman’s official title is
Professor of Historical Theology and Church History at Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia. He describes himself as a British round peg jammed into an American square hole.
He has written, contributed to, or edited a
library of books. He is also the author of many “critical writings” and “unpopular essays” that appear online and have been published in two books:
The Wages of Spin: Critical Writings on Historic and Contemporary Evangelicalism (2005) and
Minority Report: Unpopular Essays on Everything from Ancient Christianity to Zen Calvinism (2007).
You can keep up with his most recent essays at the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals website
here.
In his essays Carl teaches lessons from history and pokes a bit at the evangelical church’s fondness for therapeutic leanings, entertainment, celebrity culture, and flippancy. And he stabs away with one index finger tap at a time. Carl
writes:
I take some perverse pride in the fact that I can only type with one finger on each hand, romantically seeing this lack of polish as making me the modern equivalent of the 1930s hack journalist, cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, glass of bourbon on the bedside table, hammering out copy on an old typewriter in a dingy motel room.
That’s Carl. And with quotes like this we can be certain that 200 years from now there will be a Carl Trueman Society where enthusiasts gather to exchange favorite lines and lament that they could not meet the man in person. This interview is for them.
Meet Carl Trueman.
Carl, thanks for your time. Please describe your morning devotions. What time do you wake up in the morning? How much time do you spend reading, meditating, praying, etc.? What are you presently reading?
My children have to be at school by 7:30, so I rise at about 6:15 to 6:30. I usually wait until I arrive at work, ca. 8 a.m., to have devotions. Westminster offices do not open till 8:30 so this gives me a half hour of peace and quiet. I typically read four chapters of the Bible. I read continually from Genesis to 2 Chronicles; from Ezra to Malachi (excluding the Psalms); from Matthew to Acts; and from Romans to Revelation; I finish with a Psalm or two, reading continually through the Psalter. At this precise moment, I am in Numbers, Job, John, and 1 Corinthians, with the daily Psalm being 143. Prayer then involves adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication. The simple ACTS pattern that I learned at college.
What book(s) are you currently reading in these three categories: (a) for your soul, (b) for pastoral ministry, or (c) for personal enjoyment?
(a) I have recently reread
Pilgrim’s Progress. A brilliant, deceptively simple masterpiece whose characters never cease to amuse and provoke. I’m also about to start Tom Schreiner’s
Magnifying God in Christ: A Summary of New Testament Theology, just released by Baker.
(b)
Pastoral Theology in the Classical Tradition by Andrew Purves. A student recommended this book to me after a class I gave on the pastoral manuals written by John Chrysostom and Gregory the Great. It is a study of these men, plus Gregory Nazianzus, Martin Bucer, and Richard Baxter, as they reflected on the task of being a pastor. Much that they have to say (for example, how to handle criticism) is of perennial relevance; and they also focus on what is of lasting significance in the ministerial task, not the kind of managerial/consumerist impulses which drive much pastoral theory today.
(c) Ian Ker’s biography of John Henry Newman,
Fergus Kerr’s Twentieth-Century Catholic Theologians and Ruth Rendell’s
Portobello (I’m a sucker for hard-boiled and psychological crime fiction—anything by Raymond Chandler, Ian Rankin or Ruth Rendell).
Apart from Scripture, what book do you most frequently re-read and why?
This is easier to answer in terms of authors: I constantly dip into Martin Luther’s writings; I appreciate James Packer’s books; I enjoy John Henry Newman’s writings, especially his sermons; and I find the great creeds and catechisms of the church to be a great source of delight—they keep my faith simple, focused on the essentials, and in touch with the church throughout the ages.
When you finish a book, what system have you developed in order to remember and reference that book in the future?
Generally, I read with a pencil in hand and underline key passages. Never a pen, mind you—that would be too permanent and spoil it for whoever owns the book next. I also carry a moleskine notebook with me to make any extended notes on a given book, and, indeed, on any conversation or thing I see or hear that may be useful. I chose moleskine because I gather that Ernest Hemingway used them. A vain indulgence, I’m afraid. I also keep a daily journal where, if a book is particularly important or insightful, I will make note.
If you could study under any theologian in church history (excluding those men in Scripture), who would it be and why?
Yikes. That is a tough question. Luther would be an obvious choice because of his passion for the gospel and his sense of humour; Thomas Aquinas was no doubt a great teacher, though, as a Protestant, I would clearly have issues with him on key points; and Gregory Nazianzus would have been a remarkable figure to work under, especially on the issue of connecting the doctrine of God to worship. But, on balance, I think I’d have to opt for John Owen: massive learning, keen theological insight, passionate churchman, and fine preacher.
To be continued in part 2...
January 21, 2010 by Tony Reinke
Categories: Preaching
Gaithersburg, MD—The strength of Sovereign Grace is hitched to the strength of the local churches. And the strength of the local churches is hitched to the health of its preaching.
That was the gist of the opening exhortation from Pastors College dean Jeff Purswell as he opened our first Expository Preaching Practicum last week (Jan 12–14). The Sovereign Grace Pastors College hosted the practicum, a modestly sized three-day preaching lab with 22 senior pastors invited from various regions including the suburbs of Phoenix, north Philadelphia, California, and Wales. The men gathered to sharpen their preaching skills through instruction, preaching, evaluation, and discussion.
Jeff Purswell led the practicum. He opened the week with these words:
I have an intense excitement about this week. We [Sovereign Grace] participate in a lot of conferences, but this is just a small gathering of a few of us, and hardly anyone knows about this. But the potential effects of this week will be vastly disproportionate to its visibility. I'm not sure that we can do much that is more strategic… Why are we doing this? As preaching goes in your church, so goes your church. If preaching declines, your church will decline. And more broadly the same is true. If preaching declines in the churches of Sovereign Grace, Sovereign Grace will decline.
After the brief exhortation the work of preaching and evaluation began. Ten of the men were prepared to preach a sermon before the group. After each sermon was delivered, the other 21 men completed detailed sermon evaluation forms covering everything from faithfulness to the text, the use of illustrations and application, clarity of organization, and strength of delivery.
Jeff then led a 90-minute period of discussion and instruction for each sermon. The group discussed the sermon’s strengths first, then its weaknesses. At C.J. Mahaney’s request, Jeff offered sermon structure alternatives and instruction on various aspects of preaching and Bible interpretation. C.J. added comments on the sermon and on pastoral leadership in general.
In attendance for the practicum was Eric Turbedsky, senior pastor of Sovereign Grace Church Orange County (Pastors College class of 2001). Eric was one of the ten fortunate men selected to preach. When asked if he was nervous to preach before the dean, a sage who can spot exegetical bloopers like a hawk spots field mice, he said, “Are you kidding me? I was terrified. I want to know who drafted me to preach! But seriously, who is going to complain about Jeff, C.J., and 20 guys who preach regularly, devoting concentrated time to encouraging you in your strengths and to offer hope for your weaknesses? It was clear from the very outset of the week that everyone in the room was for me…and about half of them were feeling the pain, too. I left way more aware of the grace available to preach and the joy of partnering with a hawk like Jeff.”
Although hosted in a classroom, the format was anything but merely academic. “The type of learning that occurred is something that could never be gleaned from a book or a lecture context,” Jeff said. “It was both stimulating and encouraging to hear such a wide range of types of preachers with different styles and different gifts, all effective in their own ways. It is encouraging for a guy to know that he can preach within the framework of the unique character and gifting that God has given him. And just by watching the diverse preaching styles and strengths it was suggestive and instructional for guys.”
Ian McConnell, who serves as pastor for preaching and vision at Grace Bible Church in north Philadelphia, was surprised by the format. “I was surprised that although it was in an academic environment, it was so much more than that,” he said. “It turned out to be an environment where God’s Spirit met with us through the preached Word and ministered grace to our lives in some very dynamic and discernable ways. I heard nine exceptional messages that filled my heart with greater faith and deepened affections for the Savior! I was not only challenged to preach better, I was challenged to live my life in deeper conformity to the Word of God for the glory of God.”
To Jeff, the most unexpected fruit of the week was watching relationships nurture. “Unlike a conference when you catch up with friends between sessions, the practicum enabled guys to build relationships as they worked together,” he said. “The week was intense. These men put themselves on the line by preaching and by receiving evaluation from other men. They were engaged together, working together on text after text, getting their hands dirty together. This relationship building during the week was of a different kind than I’ve experienced before in a typical conference setting.”
Collectively the week was a great success according to C.J. “This practicum was eight years in the making,” he said, “and it was a peculiar joy to see this dream come to fruition. I sat in the classroom listening to the sermons and the valuable feedback and imagined the thousands of sermons these men will preach in the future and how those sermons—and my sermons!—will be affected and improved by our investment this week. In seeking to strengthen the local church, our week could not have been more strategic or significant for the health of the local churches represented.”
The Pastors College plans to host future practicums with the goal of hosting all the Sovereign Grace senior pastors and later hosting all the pastors.
When asked what he would say to pastors who will experience the practicum in the future, Ian said, “The week was a very helpful time of receiving evaluation and instruction for my preaching. And it was a wonderful means of fellowship, encouragement, and God-magnifying joy! I expected the week to be great—and it was. I left thinking to myself, ‘I needed this—big time.’ I think you will leave saying the same thing.”
The next set of senior pastors will soon receive invitations to practicum #2, which is tentatively scheduled for June.
In the olden days of Sovereign Grace, a funny phrase would occasionally pop up in our sermons. Do you remember this?
“Don’t hear what I’m not saying.”
The double negatives were so puzzling that it almost passed for profundity. But it was really just a way to appeal for careful listening. Careful listening was vital when confusing young preachers like us were learning our craft—but I’m getting off-message here.
I resurrect the phrase now as we return to the Great Commission and discuss the delicate topic of “apostolic ministry.”
The Apostolic Mission
Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. (Matthew 28:16)
The target group of the Great Commission is the eleven disciples. As we discovered in a recent post, they received it as representatives of the church throughout the ages. Yes, you and I were represented in the audience at the premier of the Great Commission. But the disciples also received it as
apostles who would actually carry the gospel to the world.
There’s that word again,
apostles. Let’s go to a wide-angle lens and take in the big picture.
Jesus gave the commission to ordinary men—men who would receive a unique commissioning as Apostles by the risen Christ. Joined by Paul of Tarsus, they would be the essential human agents in the proclamation of the gospel and the establishment of the church after the ascension of Christ. These men would play a unique and unrepeatable role in redemptive history. There are no contemporary reproductions of these men and their role. They are long gone.
Yet the mission they undertook remains. So the question: did “apostolic ministry” cease with the passing of the first apostles?
If we’re talking about the writers of the Scriptures, yes. Apostles of that brand are done, gone, they’ve left the building. However, this does not mean that they were the last men God would call and grace to extend the mission of the gospel through church planting. Such men are still around and quite essential. Here’s the thing: the continuity between the original recipients of the Great Commission and the present practitioners who extend it on behalf of the church is not one of office, authority, or anointing. It is function. As Jeff Purswell, the other guy (the smart one) sharing C.J.’s blog, says, “The function of first century apostles finds its ongoing expression in the efforts of those called and gifted to lead the church into missions.”
Mobilized for Mission
This “apostolic function” persists primarily to help the church reach the world with the gospel. This requires leaders whom the church sends to break new ground or explore new mission opportunities. Their function can be rooted in the Great Commission, but we can readily see a pattern for their labors in the missionary strategy of the Apostle Paul. “And thus I make it my ambition,” he said, “to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named” (Romans 15:20). Elsewhere Paul states to the Corinthians his impassioned gospel-goal: “to preach the gospel in lands beyond you” (2 Corinthians 10:16).
The take-home point? The function fulfilled by men following in Paul’s (and Timothy’s, and Silas’s, and Epaphras’s, etc.) footsteps is primarily missiological, not ecclesiological. The accent rests on gospel mission, not church maintenance. And the specific expression of that mission is church planting. “[Paul’s] more functional understanding of apostleship,” says Gordon Fee, “would certainly have its modern counterparts in those who found and lead churches in unevangelized areas.”*
The Apostolic Aim: Mobilizing Everyone???
Make no mistake: the church is sent to the lost. No one is exempt from this responsibility. But God doesn’t send everyone in the same way. God sends most locally (reaching their community with the gospel) and a few globally. I think that is why we don’t find Paul just moving through New Testament churches recruiting missionaries. Nor do we see the Great Commission applied in the New Testament in a way that mobilizes all believers to go to the uttermost parts of the world.
Here’s a summary: The Great Commission is entrusted to the church. But the church is called to identify, send, and support those graced specifically to extend the apostolic mission. Such men are called and gifted by God to provide leadership for mission and to orchestrate the planting of churches. Just because a man is a great pastor, or a great preacher, or a great evangelist, or a great leader doesn’t mean he is called to this apostolic function. But if a man can theologize, strategize, mobilize, and organize with a view to where the gospel hasn’t gone, then maybe we need to set him apart to do just that.
Why? Because mission activities are closest to the pattern in Scripture when they flow out of this Great Commission strategy: missions flowing from the church and stewarded by gifted, theologically informed church leadership.
The Apostolic Mission: Don’t Hear What I’m Not Saying
Does this mean that the activity in foreign fields that is not defined this way is not legitimate? (How about that for some double negatives!) Not at all…
don’t hear what I’m not saying! There are certain areas of expertise—medicine, translation, business, disaster relief, etc.—that make a vital contribution to the mission field. It’s not like every time a medical team is formed we think someone with apostolic-type gifts should be on the team—actually, most folks would rather just have a doctor. And by the way, just because Hudson Taylor, David Brainerd or John Paton didn’t think in terms of apostolic function doesn’t mean that they weren’t doing it. We can recognize right out of the gate that they had more apostolic game than anything we are bringing to the court!
But here is the challenge: It would seem like the church’s mission ministry could function more scripturally, and therefore more strategically, if it were married to a biblical vision for this apostolic function.
May God give us men gifted for this function so we can go further into the fields!
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Dave Harvey
leads international expansion and church planting for Sovereign Grace
Ministries and is based in Glen Mills, Pennsylvania. For more
information about the Sovereign Grace church-planting process, click here.
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*Gordon D. Fee
, The First Epistle to the Corinthians (Eerdmans, 1987), 397.
Before we conclude this series featuring Ken Sande, I want to highlight two other resources for pastors he has written on two often-neglected topics: approachability and accountability. Let me explain why they are important.
Approachability
To be wise is to be “open to reason” (James 3:17). And one way a wise pastor cultivates others’ trust is by proving himself to be approachable. “An approachable leader makes people feel safe,” Sande writes; “they know they are welcome to come to you with questions, concerns, or even criticism.” So am I approachable? Well, if the evaluation of myself is left to myself, my answer will typically be a flattering one. In order to assess myself accurately, I must humbly invite others to give me their observations and perspective.
Ken has made it easy for us in his paper
Approachability: The Passport to Real Ministry and Leadership. This document has been a valuable tool for me personally. I recently gave the document to ten different people who work with me and eagerly asked for their evaluation. I assumed they would all agree with my private appraisal of myself—that I am approachable.
But I was wrong.
Accountability
Assuming that a pastor is receiving helpful observations and correction from those who care for him, how does he respond to unfriendly criticism? And how does his pastoral team respond?
Pastors must be approachable, but they must also be accountable to their eldership or pastoral team. This is why I find Ken’s corresponding document so helpful:
Accountability: The Mark of a Wise and Protected Leader.
Ken writes that churches can under-protect their leaders by “allowing gossip and rumors to spread unchecked, jumping to conclusions about a leader’s guilt, or failing to give him a meaningful opportunity to defend himself.” On the other hand, churches can wrongly over-protect their leaders. “They develop a self-confidence and blind loyalty that compels them to become defensive and automatically ‘circle the wagons’ when a leader is questioned or accused of wrongdoing.” Both approaches are wrong.
Approachability and accountability are two important topics that rarely occupy the pastor’s attention. If we neglect them, we do so to our personal detriment. Growing in approachability and accountability will not only make your ministry more effective, but will also change your heart and your life. Pastors, you will benefit greatly from the time you invest in studying and applying Ken’s theologically informed counsel on these topics.
‘Tis the season for New Year’s resolutions—for examination, for new beginnings, for fresh resolve, for (at least momentarily) facing things we’re dissatisfied with and want changed. Ah, that’s it, isn’t it? So much of what captures our culture’s collective imagination at the annual turning of the calendar is the hope of change. Few things animate our imaginations like the prospects of a better future.
There is surely a biblical warrant for such impulses. Following Christ involves a constant process of self examination, of “putting off the old self” and “putting on the new self.” And obedience to the imperatives of Scripture inherently involves a Spirit-born resolve. Much of Paul’s prayer life was apparently taken up with requests that God “fulfill every resolve for good” in the lives of those he served (2 Thessalonians 1:11).
As I reflected upon the new year and my own hopes for change, my annual exercise was interrupted by a stark reminder of the difference between myself and God: I change, but God does not. “All flesh is grass,” Isaiah proclaimed, barely sprouting up before it withers and dies, but “I the LORD do not change” (Malachi 3:6). Regardless of my resolutions for the new year, it is only “the purpose of the LORD that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21). I have no idea what tomorrow holds, but “the word of our God will stand forever” (Isaiah 40:6-8).
For a pastor all too aware of his own sin and deficiencies (though surely underestimating the extent of both), this news was beyond good—it was transforming, and it was bracing. I then emerged from my study and entered the classroom to teach homiletics to a group of future pastors; I did so with a treasured conviction newly strengthened.
Let me ask a question I asked those men concerning the preaching of God’s Word: “What do you believe about how God works in his church and in the world?” Not, mind you, “What do you believe about Scripture’s truthfulness, or sufficiency, or inerrancy…?”—all important attributes of Scripture which it certainly claims for itself. But one can produce orthodox formulations of all of these and still lack confidence in the power of God’s Word to convert hearts, to change lives, and to build the church.
So at the outset of this new year, here’s an invitation to pastors charged with preaching and teaching God’s Word. We may be in the process of evaluating our ministries, identifying areas that need change, seeking to learn and change and grow, and so we should. But let there be one area—one cluster of convictions—that does not change. Let’s not waver in our conviction that God brings about his sovereign purposes through his Word. As in creation and throughout salvation-history, so it is now in the church and in the world: God’s Word is uniquely his creating, preserving, governing, saving, and sanctifying instrument—as Calvin put it, it is his scepter by which he rules creation and his people.
Let’s not waver in our conviction that the preached Word is living and active. It’s not merely information to interest the mind or spiritual principles to apply to life: God’s Word personally addresses us, illuminating eyes and eliciting faith and transforming hearts, affections, and perspectives.
Let’s not waver in our conviction that the pastor’s peculiar call is to bring God’s Word to bear upon his people. Amidst all the responsibilities and duties that clamor for the pastor’s attention, none transcends the call to teach God’s Word. If you are a pastor, your governing priority, whatever your specific responsibilities are, is an unflagging, ever-strengthening, ever-growing devotion to the teaching of God’s Word, be it in the pulpit, the Bible class, the training seminar, or the counseling room.
There’s much I’d love to see change in my life this year. However, my primary resolve at the outset of 2010 is to bind myself to the unchanging—to the immutable purposes of our God whose has pledged his power to his unfailing Word.
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Jeff Purswell serves as the Dean of the Sovereign Grace Pastors College and a pastor at Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, MD.
Today I am writing primarily for pastors on the topic of conflict resolution within the church.
Regrettably, no church is free from relational conflicts (not even the New Testament church). Given the presence of indwelling sin, wise pastors will both expect relational conflict and prepare their churches for it. And history has shown that pastors who fail to prepare for conflict will experience serious consequences when it arises.
Ken Sande can help.
Ken has served pastors by helping them prepare for conflict, and by helping them grow in godliness and glorify God in the midst of conflict. I have recommended his book The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict to many pastors over the years. And you may have noticed that in my two-part interview with Ken (here and here), he briefly mentioned a new DVD-based group study from Peacemaker Ministries designed for leadership teams called The Leadership Opportunity. I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you more about this resource.
The Leadership Opportunity: Living Out the Gospel Where Conflict and Leadership Intersect arrived on my desk in a large box that included:
• 14 teaching sessions on four DVDs,
• a 152-page study guide,
• the devotional book While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks by Tim Laniak,
• a leader’s guide,
• a supplemental materials binder that contains model forms and other documents,
• a Peacemaking Principles pamphlet,
• and a Quick Start Guide to jump into the study.
I was so impressed by the content that I had copies of the study purchased and mailed to every senior pastor in Sovereign Grace Ministries.
You can learn more about the series here. What follows are two videos. One provides an introduction to the series by Tim Pollard, a Vice President at Peacemaker Ministries. The second contains the entirety of the first session by Ken Sande. These videos can help you determine if the study is suited for you and your pastoral team.
Trailer/Introduction by Tim Pollard (14 minutes)
The Leadership Opportunity from Peacemaker Ministries on Vimeo.
True Leaders Must Be Peacemakers: Learning to Prevent and Fight the Fires of Conflict by Ken Sande (32 minutes)
The Leadership Opportunity Session 1 from Peacemaker Ministries on Vimeo.
Welcome back to the conclusion of my interview with Ken Sande, the founder and president of
Peacemaker Ministries. Read part one of the interview
here.
Ken, what single bit of counsel has made the most significant difference in your effective use of time?
Jonathan Edwards’s Resolution #5: “Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.” I reflect on this resolution regularly. I don’t even come close to living up to it, but Edwards’s example spurs me on.
What single bit of counsel has made the most significant difference in your leadership?
I lead of team of highly motivated and creative people who are trying to serve the church around the world. We simply could not do this if they saw this as merely being an 8-5 job. Therefore, rather than forcing my vision and ideas on them, I’ve learned (often through their feedback) that I have to take time to listen to them, understand their passions, learn from their experience and insights, and guide the way in developing a sense of ownership in a shared vision and strategy that every one of us wholeheartedly and passionately supports.
Where in ministry are you most regularly tempted to discouragement?
I am frequently discouraged by how little of what I think I need to do I actually accomplish. This has been a lifelong struggle: I always want to do more than I am able to do. Coupled with this is my weakness to commit to things I’m unable to follow through on in a timely manner. With my dear wife’s help, I am steadily learning to accept a wisdom principle David Powlison shared with me many years ago: “Not every opportunity constitutes a calling.” Bit by bit, I’m learning to pray more about opportunities before I commit to them and seek to discern those few very important things God wants me to do at any given time.
Do you exercise? If so, what do you do? If not, why not? (Please be specific.)
I run 3-4 miles at least five times a week with longer runs on weekends. I also have a universal gym and use it to maintain muscle tone three times a week. My favorite exercise is simply getting outdoors and hiking through the Beartooth Mountains.
Currently, what sport do you like to play and/or watch?
My family owned a ranch when I was young, so I spent most of my free time riding horses and working cattle rather than playing team sports. (One of my favorite spectator sports is still watching cutting horses work cattle, which is one of the most remarkable examples you’ll ever see of a man and an animal working in complete synchronization.) I have lately developed a strong interest in football, since my son is playing tight end and defensive back for Central High School in Billings. My wife is actually more knowledgeable of this sport than I am, so she is steadily bringing me up to speed.
What do you do for leisure?
My favorite leisure activity is to simply enjoy my family in conversation, laughter, games, or watching classic movies. When we have more time together, I love to hike, backpack, or cross country ski in the Beartooth Mountains south of Billings. A few years ago, our family had the privilege of taking snowcoaches to Old Faithful Lodge in Yellowstone National Park on New Year’s Day with David Powlison’s family. Another year, Scott Somerville’s family (from Covenant Life Church) came out to Montana to backpack with us. I’ve invited C.J. out to go backpacking several times, but I finally got the distinct impression that he was not as enamored as I am with climbing up mountains and sleeping on the ground.
If you were not in ministry, what occupational path would you have chosen?
My professional education was in mechanical engineering and law. If I wasn’t in ministry, I would have pursued a career that coupled these two professions.
January 6, 2010 by C.J. Mahaney
Categories: Conflict | Interviews
Ken Sande has written the finest book I’ve read on the topic of conflict resolution. It’s titled
The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict (Baker, 2004). I have read and re-read it over the years and I have recommended it to pastors and churches around this country. And given that
The Peacemaker has now been published in ten languages, I’m sure this book has spread around the world, too. It is on my short list of must-reads for every pastor.
Ken Sande lives Billings, Montana. He is an attorney and the president of
Peacemaker Ministries, an initiative he founded 25 years ago. There is much to learn from Ken and I am thankful that he’s taken some time to answer a few questions about life and ministry.
Meet Ken Sande.
Thanks for your time, Ken! Please describe your morning devotions. What time do you wake up in the morning? How much time do you spend reading, meditating, praying, etc.? What are you presently reading?
I wake up at 5:30 and spend the first 60 minutes of the day with the Lord. To wake my mind up, I first read from
The Valley of Vision and Spurgeon’s
Morning and Evening. I then read a Psalm (to inspire praise) or a chapter in Proverbs (to be warned and gain wisdom for the day), and then a chapter in the Bible that my church has designated for the day (currently I’m in the book of Acts), which I also discuss with my family at dinner. I keep a journal of the insights God gives me from this reading. I then spend 10-15 minutes memorizing and meditating on Scripture passages or quotes from the saints that are especially meaningful to me (which I organize on my iPaq in a system that allows me to memorize and review passages on a progressive daily, weekly, and monthly basis). I spend the balance of my devotional time with prayer for my family, church, and ministry.
What book(s) are you currently reading in these three categories: (a) for your soul, (b) for pastoral ministry, or (c) for personal enjoyment?
For my soul, I am reading J.I. Packer’s
Knowing God, which is one of my all time favorites. (My entire staff is currently reading this book as well.) For pastoral ministry, I am reading Tim Laniak’s
While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks (which is featured in our new
Leadership Opportunity resource set). For personal enjoyment, I’m reading Shelby Foote’s three volume narrative on
The Civil War. (Quite an irony, I know, a peacemaker enjoying books on war; the reason is that I find many parallels between military wars and the spiritual warfare I deal with through my ministry.)
Apart from Scripture, what book do you most frequently re-read and why?
I first read J.I. Packer’s
Knowing God in my late twenties and have gone back to it again and again to refresh my awe for God by drawing on Packer’s remarkable insights into the Lord’s holiness and love.
When you finish a book, what system have you developed in order to remember and reference that book in the future?
I highlight key passages in books as I read them, and then transfer select quotes into my memory/meditation system so that I can reflect on them on a regular basis. I often pick up favorite books and thumb through them, reviewing many of the highlighted sections.
If you could study under any theologian in church history (excluding those men in Scripture), who would it be and why?
I could happily listen to J.I. Packer read a telephone book; I just love his accent. Fortunately, when I’ve heard him teach, he has always dealt with far weightier content, always with a humility, clarity, and sense of humor that I find to be both winsome and edifying. I own many of the books he has authored and refer to them again and again.
What single piece of counsel (or constructive criticism) has most improved your preaching?
I teach far more frequently than I preach, and focus almost exclusively on the practical peacemaking message of Scripture. The most important advice I’ve ever received is “Be true to the intent of the passage (rather than reading my own meaning into it), keep it simple, and make it real and relevant through personal stories.” I’ve found this to be especially important with a topic as challenging as peacemaking.
First, peacemaking is a highly theological topic. Justice, reconciliation, relationships, church unity, and our witness for Christ are on the line when we are in conflict. Therefore it is critical that rather than simply following our own feelings or ideas, we accurately discern what God is promising and commanding.
Second, when emotions rise (which is usually the case in conflict), rational thinking usually declines. Therefore it is helpful to organize God’s peacemaking principles in simple, memorable terms that provide a clear track to run on (which is why I rely so heavily on acrostics like the “4 Gs,” the “7As,” and the “PAUSE” principle of negotiating).
Third, peacemaking is challenging and sometimes seems impossible. If all I do is teach the principles, people can easily think, “That may work for someone who is an expert like Ken, but it won’t work for someone as messed up as me.” But when I add a personal example of my own failings as a husband, father, or mediator, and then describe how God graciously forgives me and redeems the situation as I apply his principles, many people later tell me, “When you shared that story, I realized you struggle with the same sins I struggle with, and that God’s grace can work through me as it did through you.”
What books on preaching, or examples of it, have you found most influential in your own preaching?
I have been blessed to sit under two of the best preachers I know for the last 25 years: Rev. Al Edwards and Rev. Alfred Poirier from my home church, Rocky Mountain Community Church. Most of what I’ve learned about preaching and teaching has come through their examples. Their careful exegesis, thoughtful organization, relevant applications, and timely humor have shaped my teaching.
To be continued in part 2...